First Look Photos on Your Wedding Day: Pros & Cons
Take a moment to imagine the first time you’ll see your spouse-to-be on your wedding day.
You’ve both spent hours getting ready, your stomach is full of butterflies, and the emotions are high.
The first look is usually an emotional moment for many reasons, not the least of which is the knowledge that you’re about to marry your best friend. And for many couples, it can be difficult to decide whether you want to glimpse each other for the first time as one of you walks down the aisle, or whether to do a private first look with just the two of you before the ceremony.
So which should you choose?
What is a First Look?
Before we jump into the pros and cons, you might be wondering, “What is a first look?”
A first look is a private moment where you and your spouse-to-be see each other in your wedding attire for the first time.
The three of us will arrange a time before the ceremony and pick a location away from friends and family to hold the first look. I’ll help one of you get into position while the other is tucked away, close by, so they can’t be seen. Once we’re ready to go, the person in hiding will tap the other on the shoulder, and you’ll turn around to look at your spouse-to-be for the first time.
First Look Pros
There are a lot of reasons you might choose to do a first look. Here are just a few of the benefits:
1. You’ll get some time to yourselves before the ceremony.
Your wedding day will go by quickly, and because everyone’s excited to celebrate with you, it can be hard to find time to step away and really take it all in.
A first look allows you to spend several minutes alone, with just the two of you. It also means that you’ll have more time together throughout the wedding day.
2. No one is watching you.
One of the biggest reasons couples choose to do a first look is so they can enjoy a more private experience.
It can be nerve-wracking and a little overwhelming having everyone staring at you as you walk down the aisle. Doing a private first look before the ceremony takes the pressure off, allowing you both to act more naturally since no one else is around.
3. You’ll be able to finish group portraits before the ceremony.
From a photography perspective, a first look is great because it allows you to schedule all of the group portraits before the ceremony. This can be one of the most stressful parts of the day for couples since we’re trying to corral so many people.
Scheduling group portraits earlier in the day means that you can relax and not worry about running out of time for pictures. It also means you can head straight to your cocktail hour/reception after the ceremony.
4. It calms the nerves.
You’re marrying your best friend because they’re the person who makes you feel safe and secure.
If you’re feeling anxious on your wedding day, a first look is the perfect opportunity to calm your nerves. You can hold each other as long as you want to without having to worry about anything else.
And if you’re worried about crying at the altar, you can get all of the tears out of the way ahead of time.
5. It guarantees daylight for portraits.
It’s normal for at least one of the events on your wedding day to go late. And if you’re getting married in the evening or during the winter, you’ll be surprised at how quickly the light runs out.
Doing a first look allows you to schedule portraits earlier in the day so you can ensure beautiful light for your photos.
6. It allows you to be more present at your wedding.
Did I mention that wedding days tend to go by quickly?
Between reciting your vows, dancing, and celebrating with your guests, everything can start to feel like a whirlwind.
A first look gives you a chance to focus solely on your spouse-to-be and spend some quality time together before you tie the knot. And getting the jitters out of the way will help you be more calm and present throughout the rest of your wedding day.
7. It gives you the chance to get creative!
A first look is a wonderful opportunity to do something creative and fun.
Maybe you want to do your first look somewhere that’s special to the two of you, such as the location of your first date or the place you got engaged.
Or maybe you’re both practical jokesters and you want to use your first look as an opportunity to prank each other. (I may or may not be thinking of this video.)
Use your first look as a way to celebrate your unique relationship and personalities. Your only limit is your imagination.
First Look Cons
Now that we’ve gone over the pros of a first look, here are a few reasons why a first look might not be the best choice for you.
1. It breaks tradition.
One of the biggest reservations couples usually have about doing a first look is losing out on the big reveal at the altar. If you’re superstitious or hard-set on sticking to tradition, then a first look might not be for you.
However, if you’re simply worried that doing a first look will ruin the experience of seeing each other at the start of the ceremony, then allow me to put your fears to rest. Every couple I’ve worked with who’s chosen to do a first look said they still felt plenty of emotion and excitement at seeing each other, even though they spent time together earlier in the day. And a lot of couples enjoy the ceremony even more since they’ve already had time to be together and soak in their emotions.
2. You’ll have to start the day earlier.
Doing a first look usually means scheduling portraits earlier in the day, so you’ll need to start getting ready earlier, and you’ll also need to make sure everyone participating in your group portraits arrives early to the ceremony location.
However, starting earlier also means that you’ll have more time after the ceremony to celebrate with your guests, enjoy your reception, and eat the dinner you’ve spent so much time organizing.
3. Your family won’t be there the first time you see each other.
Typically, first looks are private, meaning that your family members and wedding party won’t be there when you see each other for the first time.
If this is something that’s important to you, talk to them about it and see if it impacts your decision. Also, there’s nothing that says you can’t have a small number of friends/family members present during your first look.
4. It can create pressure to act a certain way.
Some couples hesitate to do a first look because they feel pressured to react a certain way. Or maybe the situation feels staged and not as genuine.
But a good photographer will help you to feel comfortable and at ease. I always encourage couples to ignore me and instead focus on the way they feel about each other. You don’t have to cry or get emotional in order for your reaction to be genuine.
For example, my husband, Brian, isn’t an emotional person. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen him cry, and we’ve known each other for over 10 years. If Brian had cried during our first look, I definitely would have been surprised, and maybe even a little bit concerned. 😉
My point is that your partner knows and loves you for who you are. Don’t worry about making sure your reaction is “perfect.” Instead, focus on why you’re excited to marry the love of your life.
5. You might feel uncomfortable about the idea of a first look.
If thinking about doing a first look makes you uncomfortable, then that’s a good indicator that a first look might not be the right choice for you.
Your wedding day is about the marriage you’re creating, and you should always do what’s best for you and your future spouse.
Things to Consider When Choosing Whether to Do a First Look
If you’re still on the fence about whether to do a first look, here are a few more things to consider that will help you make a decision.
Wedding Day Timeline
Your wedding day timeline will be heavily influenced by whether or not you choose to do a first look.
For example, if you choose not to do a first look, then you’ll need to schedule most of your group portraits and your couples portraits for after the ceremony. If attending cocktail hour and mingling with your guests is important to you, then doing a first look might fit better with your timeline.
On the other hand, if you don’t want to start getting ready earlier in the day, then you might want to skip a first look and schedule your portraits for after the ceremony.
The Look of Your Photos
Do you have a specific image in mind when you think about your wedding photos?
Maybe you dream about a sunset wedding on the beach.
If that’s the case, you’ll need to schedule all of your portraits before the ceremony, so a first look would make a lot of sense.
Think about how the time of day will affect your portraits, and see if that helps you decide whether or not to do a first look.
First Look Alternatives
If you’ve decided that a first look isn’t for you, here are some alternatives that can be equally meaningful:
1. Do a first look, but leave something out.
One option is to do a first look but to change up your appearance just slightly.
For example, maybe you’ll be dressed in your wedding attire, but without any headpieces or accessories. Or maybe you’ll wear an entirely different outfit for the first look.
If you’re torn between sticking with tradition and doing a first look, then this is a great middle ground.
2. Do a first touch.
A first touch is one of the most popular alternatives to a first look. It allows you to spend time together before the ceremony while still preserving the tradition of not seeing each other until one of you walks down the aisle.
You can stand back to back and exchange letters or recite private vows to each other. Another option is to hold hands while standing around a corner or on opposite sides of an open door.
You can even coordinate a phone call and hire two photographers to ensure that both of your reactions are documented.
3. Do a first look with another loved one.
First looks aren’t limited to your spouse-to-be. You can do a first look with your parents, grandparents, siblings, or anyone else in your life who’s special to you. If you want some emotional, tear-jerking photos, then this is a great way to capture memories that will last forever.
4. Spend time together before the ceremony without doing a first look.
Some couples choose to completely throw tradition out the window and forego any kind of documented first look.
Maybe you want to get ready with your future spouse the morning of your wedding. Or maybe you just want to spend a few quiet minutes together before the ceremony without any other people or cameras nearby.
It’s your wedding! Do whatever will bring you the most joy.
Final Thoughts
Deciding whether or not to do a first look can be a tough decision.
Take into consideration your timeline, the lighting, and the wishes of your family members, but at the end of the day, do whatever is best for you and your future spouse. And know that you can always change your mind later!
